I have been experiencing some major ear congestion and severe vertigo this weekend and it is not fun. I've never had vertigo like this before (lots of vomiting) and the ear congestion has muffled my hearing. I had a momentary panic thinking how my life would be like if I had vertigo on a regular basis or if I had hearing loss.
It reminds me that I take my body for granted. And that some things are totally out of my control - and that's scary to me. I was starting to list the "what if's" and I think the thing that devastated me the most was not being 100% well for my son, who's only turning 3 next month.
So instead of feeding the panic and fear, I have to switch gears and think of the things that I am grateful for.
Today I am grateful for:
* being alive and in general good health despite this ear congestion and vertigo
* my husband who works hard to support us, my son who was patient enough this weekend while I tried to tell him I was feeling sick
* my friend who called for a quick chat while she was at the park with her 2 kids - she reminded me someday the kids won't be small anymore and we will find "ourselves" again
* the roof over my head, food in my belly and love in my home
I am tempted to give into the fear and panic of "what ifs" but I know I will get better. I know most things are out of my control. So I guess I have to ask myself - what if it's not as scary as I make it out to be?